As romance writers looking at the subject of love is something of a preoccupation. There are many types of love, of course, some of which are deeper than others. What has been on my mind over the weekend is the difference between being in love and loving someone.
Falling in love and being in love, I see as the bright burning passion, that consumes you at the start of a relationship. The intense feeling that you need them, want them now! Want to call and e-mail them when you are not together, and when you are together you can’t keep your hands off each other. An overwhelming passion, they are in your thoughts all the time throughout the day. You ache to be with them. This is the person you want to make future forever plans with. The whole act of saying goodbye is a painful one, leaving you with the sense of needing just one more minute with them before you part.
For me, loving someone has a stronger, more enduring feel to the emotion. You have found your together forever partner, a feeling that you love them completely, accepting them, with all the good aspects of their personalities and all the flaws, without reserve. You know that having that person in your life is a profoundly good thing, you can’t imagine your life without them in it and know those feelings never go away.
Of course, the two forms of love, come from the same place. But the second form of loving someone is an emotion that grows and gets stronger over time.
I’m sure this is different for everyone. So there may be no clear right or wrong for Love vs In Love. I can’t wait to see your thoughts.
I’d love to hear your comments here on the blog, the BVS Facebook page, or my Facebook page. We have a twitter page too, and we are always happy to follow people that follow us.
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