Writing a good sex scene
On August 21, 2018 | 2 Comments

Amanda's BVS BLOG

I may have irritated or upset some male authors with Monday’s blog, that was not my intention.  If I did please accept my apologies.  I was simply expressing my views about some male writers.  Some men write great sex scenes as I did say in my original blog.  I took a couple of days off to think about what I had said and with the support of the boss Ric, this was the intended follow up to the Monday blog.

I would like to share my thoughts on what I believe makes a good sex scene.  This follows comments and messages I received after Monday’s blog. Before I start, I am not setting myself up as some sort of great authority on the subject.  These are just my thoughts and opinions, that have come from the four years I have worked for Ric at BVS, reading reams of scripts, and the romance and erotic romance books I have read over the years.

I mentioned on Monday that I didn’t like a lot of the sex scenes that I had read, that had been written by men.  I think women write more honestly, using their own experience, fears, concerns and desires in their writing.  When thinking of your characters, it makes no difference whether they are male and female, both women, or both men. As I write this I am thinking male-female but written through her experience. One common problem is head-hopping, I find that annoying in a sex scene.  Pick the character who will have the experience and stick with it. It is nice to hear what both parties feel about the sex. But you can show that through the observations and feelings of the character you are writing through.

When you read a good erotic scene, the sexual tension has been building for a page, a chapter, maybe the whole story before they get to the bedroom. The build-up can be a wonderful dance of tease and denial, making your mind ponder whether they will actually get it together. It is in that stave before they get intimate, that you can explore the characters emotions. Draw on the things that work for you.  It is not like a quickie in a dark room; the lights are on, you look into your lover’s eyes. You take in every detail of how they are dressed. Your characters are vulnerable; nobody wants to make an advance in case they are rebuffed and feel stupid, so they are looking for signs of arousal, a blush on the cheeks, the swell of lips, and most especially eye contact. You can tell that your lover wants you by the look in their eyes.  Explore the subtle looks, observations of body language, as you build the sexual tension. I think of it as the slow swelling of emotions, rather than a dash for the finish line. She may feel insecure, most of us worry about our bodies.  These are all barriers to slowly pull down before you get to the removal of any clothing.

Your reader will enjoy the tease of your heroine looking at her lover’s chest seeing the contours through the thin material, the hint of erect nipples, the swell of fabric as your lover breathes. As they move together, she is held captive by the smoldering look in her lover’s eyes. She knows, feels, how much her lover wants her, needs her. An especially teasing writer might cause them to break at this point, an interruption, a nagging doubt? This might take you back to step one, and the build-up starts again. If not the scene continues, and at this point, there is no doubt, that the lovers want each other.

The sex itself, try to keep it believable. Sex can be slow and sensual, or urgent and demanding, from either side. When making love most men don’t last hours, but even after they finish the scene can continue with tongues fingers and sex toys.  Or the act itself can be prolonged with foreplay, sex toys, even sex games and exploring fantasies.  I like to see it as consensual lovemaking in a romantic setting.  For sure there are other types of scenes, and they have other agendas. Have fun and explore, be creative.  Your readers will love you for it.

I’d love to hear your comments here on the blog, the BVS Facebook page, or my Facebook page. We have a twitter page too, and we are always happy to follow people that follow us.

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K.A. Neeson Posted August 24, 2018 at4:59 pm   Reply

Thank you, Amanda, brilliant advice. I like to build tension in the scenes keeps the readers hooked. Sometimes subtlety in erotica is more arousing, waiting and wondering if the act will happen between buildup is supreme. I agree with your article so many great points.
Many Thanks,
K.A. Neeson

Amanda Ravenscroft Posted September 7, 2018 at7:39 pm   Reply

Thank you so much for commenting 🙂 I agree I like the slow build, that bit of teasing seeing how things rise to a climax. I love that in romance and erotica.

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