Heroes And Sensitivity, Understanding, Compassion — How Important Are Those Traits?
January 25th, 2010 | 
Author: There were a lot of interesting comments in the topic about what makes a hero to die for. One of the themes that ran through several of the comments was the idea that a great hero is sensitive to the heroine, understands who she is, why she is the way she is, and what she needs to be happy.
As a reader, those traits (and others that are similar to them) are very important to me in terms of the hero — and whether I like him.
A non-BVS author who is new to me, who I like a lot is Catherine Anderson. I read Baby Love by her. One of the things that I found most striking, and that I REALLY liked about that book was the hero’s dedication to the heroine. The way that he made decisions based on what he believed was best for the heroine — what she needed from him emotionally — made me like him — a lot. Enough that I will undoubtedly buy and read a good many more Catherine Anderson books.
On the erotic side of the coin, another non-BVS author that I read recently is Tymber Dalton. Her book The Reluctant Dom is another book which has (in this case two heroes who put the heroine first in everything they do.) The whole book results from the hero (Kaden’s) desire for his best friend (Seth) to care for and love his (Kaden’s) wife (Leah) after Kaden’s death. Though the book is excellent for many reasons one of the things that I liked best about it was the way that the heroes (Seth and Kaden) showed sensitivity, understanding, compassion. It’s a fantastic read. I would highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t yet read it. Also keep your eye out for an interview with Tymber Dalton. I interviewed her for the column that I write for PopSyndicate each month. I will post a link when the column is out.
We have several Black Velvet Seductions books which have heroes who are very sensitive to their heroines. Night Angel by Renee Reeves comes to mind here…as does my own His Perfect Submissive.
Even Toy’s Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy by Robert Cloud has a hero who is sensitive to his heroine’s sexual feelings and fantasies. The hero and heroine have an online relationship in which they share their fantasies. The heroine fantasizes about being kidnapped and forced to live the life of a slave. The heroine leads the hero to believe (through emails, chats, and conversations) that she wants a very harsh Master. Much of what the hero does through the book is based upon what the heroine has shared about her fantasies. Much of the hero’s internal struggle is about whether he can be the kind of Master the heroine wants without losing himself in the process. The fantasies themselves are pretty intense, and the story leaves nothing untold. I enjoyed it a lot, even though it is hard to read in places. It fits in the category of stories with heroes who are sensitive and understanding of their heroines even though the hero does some things that would be reprehensible in other situations.
How important is it to you for the character to demonstrate sensitivity, understanding, compassion toward the heroine in the books you read? Is it a trait that you look for in the books you read? Does an author who writes heroes like that end up on your buy list — like they do mine? Or is it just a nice trait — but not a make it or break it for you?
Posted in heroes
Depending on the rest of the story, it might break it for me. Some of the main male characters are so dominant as to be overpowering, not only to his woman, but to the whole story. A strong, sef assured man is great, but a bully is still a bully no matter how handsome or successful.
It’s a nice trait but it does not make it or break it for me. Sometimes, I enjoy reading novels where the hero is a “big meanie” because it is something different from my normally read books.
The hero has to be able to understand his own emotions and those of his partner or else he is not worth being with. So, yes it is a make or break for me in a story. Although, if he is a little clueless in the beginning it is great watching him come around.
Its very important to me that the characters demonstrate sensitivity, understanding and compassion for one another…really that’s what romance is all about. It may not be there initially, but hopefully through the journey the characters realize they can’t live without each other and strive to create a balance that works for them.
The connection or bond is made stronger between them with those traits, otherwise its just going through the motion, sex without emotion and commitment. If there’s going to be an HEA those traits are desirable.
I just finished reading a book where the hero called the heroine every insulting name he could think of…and did so repeatedly. I would have sent him packing, but the heroine took it and fell in love with him. I guess it did make for a different plot.
I love books with the hero like that towards the heroine. I think it is very important trait and a lot of books I read are like that. A lot of books where the hero is insensitive I usually don’t read that author again.
Knowing that the hero has an understanding of the needs and desires of the heroine is key to the relationship fully developing, so it’s definitely the make or break for a good book. I may finish reading a book that doesn’t have it, but I’m certainly less likely to ever seek out that author’s works again if I don’t see that connection in their writing.
It does make a major difference to me if the hero is insensitive to the heroine I can’t really get into the book and I probably won’t buy another book by the author. I love Catherine Anderson one of my favorite books by her is Only by Your Touch. I fell in love with her writing after I read that book.
I don’t like books where the hero thinks he is the greatest thing on earth and everyone else is inferior.
I prefer my heroes to be the bad boy who gets turned around by a good woman’s love. Sensitivity is not a make it or break it factor, but sometimes it is necessary to the plot line, and sometimes it isn’t.
I do think it’s important for the hero to have a sensitive side. I think an alpha hero should have a softer side to him.
I like a hero to have a sensitive side, maybe a side that confuses him a little. Like an Alpha hero that is used to being in charge of his world, but meets a woman who completely messes with him. She doesn’t cow to him (although I really don’t like a hero that wants everyone to bow to his every wish and demand), she stands up for herself, and she entices him into seeing things a bit differently. She wraps her invisible hand around his heart and holds on tight. She makes him a better man. And because of his newly discovered need to love, protect and do whatever is necessary for her, he makes her a better woman. If any of that makes sense…
I like books where the hero is a rogue because if he wasn’t what would be the woman’s part in the story. She’s the one who fixes everything so they can be happy ever after.
Heidi